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Chapter 4 - The Price of Keeping Appearances

“Then tell me,” I said.

My mother was quiet on the other end of the phone. A day earlier, she had stood beside an overturned engagement table asking what I had done. Now she was hesitating when I asked what she had known.

“Not over the phone,” she said.

I nearly refused. I was tired of being asked to move difficult conversations somewhere private, where there would be no witnesses and no record of what was said. But I also wanted the earrings back, and Mom still had the jewelry box our grandmother had left in her care.

“I'll come tomorrow,” I told her. “Have the pearls ready.”

After we hung up, I sat on Elise's couch and stared at the dark television. The apartment smelled faintly of coffee. Everything was ordinary except the life I had expected to return to. I had planned an engagement dinner, not the dismantling of an engagement.

The next morning, Elise came with me to the apartment Graham and I shared. I had my own key, but I didn't want to be alone with him. We agreed to collect my documents, clothing, and the few pieces of jewelry I kept there. The rest could wait until we arranged a proper division of our belongings.

Graham was in the living room when we arrived. He had changed out of his stained tuxedo. Without the ruined dinner around him, he looked almost like the man I'd known before the photograph appeared. That familiarity hurt more than I expected.

He glanced at Elise and frowned. “Do we need an audience?”

“She's helping me pack,” I said.

“This is our home.”

“It was,” I answered. “I'm not deciding who keeps what today.”

He moved toward the doorway to our bedroom, then thought better of it. I watched him struggle with the fact that he couldn't force a conversation simply by insisting it was private.

“You've humiliated me in front of people I work with,” he said.

I turned toward him. “You were in a hotel bed with my sister.”

“That photograph doesn't explain our relationship.”

“Neither have you.”

He ran a hand over his hair. “I made a mistake.”

“Six weeks ago, you told Ivy to cry if I asked why you missed the tasting.”

He looked away. I'd repeated the exact words from his message, and the effect was immediate. He could call the affair a mistake. He couldn't make the instruction disappear.

I walked into the bedroom with Elise beside me. We worked quietly, folding my clothes into two cases and collecting my personal papers. I took copies of the accounts I'd contributed to and left behind anything whose ownership Graham might dispute. No sudden destruction. No secret revenge. I wanted to get out without creating another problem that would keep us tied together.

When I came back into the living room, Graham held a printout of the statement he had texted me.

“If we tell everyone the evening got out of hand, we can still fix this,” he said.

“Fix the video?”

“Fix what people think about us.”

He had not asked what I thought about us. I watched him look at the printed statement as though repairing his reputation would automatically repair our relationship.

“I'm not going to lie about what happened,” I said.

“I didn't ask you to lie.”

“You asked me to call it a misunderstanding.”

For the first time, his anger broke through the controlled tone. “Do you have any idea how much this will cost me?”

I thought of the dinner invoice, his private upgrades, the care with which he had tried to control the room. Money had apparently been part of his calculation all along.

“It cost me a fiancé,” I answered. “I haven't had time to add up everything else.”

As Elise carried a suitcase to the car, Graham said he would have his attorney contact me about the apartment and outstanding celebration expenses. I told him to do that in writing. It was a relief to have something practical to say.

My mother was waiting when we arrived at her house later that afternoon. She had placed our grandmother's wooden jewelry box on the dining-room table. It was the same small box I'd seen since childhood, its brass hinge darkened with age.

I opened it. The velvet compartment where the pearl earrings belonged was empty.

“Where are they?”

“Ivy hasn't brought them back.”

“You knew she'd taken them?”

“She asked to borrow them for a special occasion.”

“They were left to me.”

“I know that, June.”

Her reply was so quick that I could tell she'd already rehearsed it. She said Ivy had been upset about always being compared with me and wanted to feel special. Mom had decided there was no harm in a temporary loan.

“You lent her something that wasn't yours,” I said.

“I expected her to return them.”

“She wore them in bed with my fiancé.”

Mom closed her eyes. When she opened them, there was something almost pleading in her expression.

“I didn't know she would do that.”

The statement was carefully worded. I heard what it didn't say.

“Did you know about Graham?” I asked.

She straightened one corner of the table runner, though it hadn't moved. “I had concerns.”

“What concerns?”

“She was spending too much time with him.”

“Did you ask her?”

Mom didn't answer immediately. My pulse quickened. In the last two days, I had watched an entire room discover a secret I hadn't known. It was almost worse to realize that someone closest to me might have known before the rest of us.

“June, I wanted you to have a happy evening,” she said.

“That isn't an answer.”

She finally admitted that Ivy had come to her upset a little over two weeks before the engagement dinner. Ivy had said she'd crossed a boundary with Graham and promised it wouldn't happen again. Mom had persuaded herself it was finished.

“Did you tell me?” I asked, though I already knew.

“No.”

“Did you tell Graham to stay away from her?”

“I told Ivy to put it behind her. I believed her when she said it was over.”

I looked at the empty compartment in the jewelry box. My grandmother's earrings had been given to Ivy without my permission. My fiancé had been sleeping with her. And my mother had decided I didn't need to know.

“I could have chosen whether to marry him,” I said.

“You were so happy about the dinner.”

“I was planning a future. Those aren't the same thing.”

Mom began to cry, silently at first. Once, that would have made me soften my questions. I had spent years protecting her from uncomfortable conversations. I didn't have the energy for it now.

“Please ask Ivy to return the earrings,” I said. “I want them delivered to Elise, not brought here for another family discussion.”

I stood to leave. Mom reached for my wrist, but I moved away gently.

At the door, she called after me. “I truly thought it was over.”

“Maybe you did,” I said. “But you knew it had happened.”

That evening, a message arrived from Graham's uncle Julian. He said Ruth had forwarded an amended invoice after the venue reviewed which late services Graham had ordered. He wasn't asking me to discuss the family. He had helped the staff sort the damage on the night of the dinner and wanted to make sure nobody used the confusion to claim I had agreed to costs I hadn't approved.

I thanked him and asked him to send whatever he had through Ruth, not privately. He agreed immediately.

A few minutes later, Mom sent another message: a photograph of a conversation on her phone. In it, she had told Graham weeks earlier that she expected him to honor what Ivy had promised.

May you like

His reply was short.

You have my word. June will never have to know.

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