Chapter 6 - What Remained of Our Marriage

The company was called Northstar Pictures Holdings. Vincent and I had established it when my first major role brought more money than either of us knew how to manage. He handled investments. I retained control of creative projects. After our divorce, my interest in the company had been transferred to a trust administered for me by professionals.
“Who uses its cards now?” I asked Miriam.
“The trust has no active spending accounts. We are checking whether the number belongs to an old card or a newer corporate account using the same billing entity.”
I remembered signing documents on the last morning I lived at the mansion. My hands had been steady because if I'd allowed them to tremble, I might have stayed. Vincent had offered a settlement without contest. I'd kept the assets my attorney said were mine. I had not examined every internal access privilege once I left the country.
That omission was mine, but it didn't give anyone permission to use my name.
Miriam brought an accountant into the inquiry. She also advised me not to assume the payment record was authentic until the bank confirmed it. The confirmation arrived later that afternoon. A virtual card had been issued under an administrative profile that should have been closed years earlier.
The authorized administrator was a woman named Celia Marsh, once our shared publicity coordinator.
I remembered Celia standing outside hotel rooms with a clipboard, instructing reporters on how long they could speak to me. When my marriage ended, she had told Emma that a disappearing actress would eventually need to explain herself.
“Is she still in publicity?” I asked.
“Yes,” Emma replied. “She works independently. She also handled a campaign for Natalie's restaurant two years ago.”
The overlap felt alarming, but Emma reminded me that Chicago publicity circles were small. We gave the information to investigators rather than drawing conclusions.
Vincent requested a meeting, adult to adult, at Miriam's office. He arrived without the confident smile I remembered from our early marriage.
“Celia used to tell me which photographs made us look happy,” he said. “I thought it was harmless. I didn't understand how much of our life she could access.”
“You didn't understand a lot of things,” I said.
“No.”
He pushed a folder across the table. It contained records from his office showing that Celia had asked for my location several times after the divorce. Vincent's staff had refused to provide it. Six months ago she had approached his corporate team claiming she could help locate me for a documentary proposal. They declined.
“Why didn't you tell me you were looking for me?” I asked.
“I didn't know where to send a message. Emma wouldn't give me an address, and I didn't try to make her. For the first year, I wanted you back because I couldn't bear what I'd lost. Then I realized wanting you back wasn't the same as deserving to speak to you.”
“You searched for five years.”
“Yes. Public appearances, agents, places you might have moved. I was wrong to make that search about what I needed. I stopped asking people close to you for answers after Emma told me to.”
I remembered a message Emma had shown me three years earlier: Mr. Moretti has asked again. I told him no. I had nodded and gone back to packing Lily's lunch.
“Did Natalie know?” I asked.
“Know what?”
“That you were still searching for me.”
He looked uncomfortable. “She knew I regretted the divorce. She ended our relationship because I wasn't honest about that regret.”
“Don't tell me you never loved her.”
“I did. Or I believed I did. I won't rewrite what I said to you so I can look better now.”
It was the first answer from him that didn't try to turn regret into innocence.
I told him about my pregnancy: the positive test on a rainy morning, Emma holding me while I cried, my decision to continue working quietly from abroad. I told him how Lily arrived early enough to frighten me but healthy enough to go home soon afterward. I told him how many times I'd reached for the phone and then imagined his silence.
Vincent listened without interruption.
“I missed all of it,” he said.
“Yes.”
“And I cannot ask you to give those years back.”
“No.”
He looked at the folder between us. “I want to help protect her privacy. Not by deciding for you. Tell me what I can legally do.”
For the first time, the words did not sound like a demand. We discussed limiting access to the old company's records, preserving communications, and keeping child arrangements separate from my professional life.
After the meeting Emma and I reviewed the film event again. I wanted to appear without explaining Lily to the world. Emma believed we could make that happen if my team held its boundaries.
That evening Dr. Ellis called. Lily had begun asking about Vincent at bedtime and wanted to show him a model airplane she'd built from paper. The doctor suggested we could begin short meetings without a clinician in the room, provided both parents agreed and Lily could end the visit at any time.
I was ready to say yes when Miriam called back.
The accountant had found that someone using Celia's old administrator credentials accessed Northstar's archived files the day after the O'Hare photograph appeared. They opened folders containing my former addresses, entertainment contracts, and one document about my pregnancy that I had never realized Northstar possessed.
It was a draft insurance application from before the divorce, left incomplete, with a medical history attachment added after I left.
I stared at the date.
May you like
Someone had entered a private medical note into our old business files during the month Lily was born.
And the note included the hospital where I'd delivered her.