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Chapter 3 - The Letter That Never Reached Him

Victoria remained in the doorway as though the conference room belonged to her.

For ten years I had remembered the same woman sitting opposite me in an attorney's office, insisting that a divorce was the only respectable way to end my marriage. She had always seemed certain that what she wanted was best for Ethan.

Now she looked at Noah and Sophie, and her certainty cracked.

“Children,” she said, “why don't you wait outside with someone?”

“They stay with me,” I replied.

Ethan stood. “You can leave, Mother.”

“You're going to believe this without asking questions?”

“I'm going to listen before I decide what to believe.”

Her mouth tightened. She left, but not before giving Lucas's folder a long, measuring look.

Ethan turned to the twins. “Could I ask your mother a few questions? You can stay. I won't make her answer anything she doesn't want to.”

Sophie settled beside me. Noah asked for paper and borrowed Lucas's pen. He began drawing a rough chart that looked suspiciously like a negotiation plan.

Ethan kept his eyes on me.

“You said you learned about the pregnancy after we separated. How long afterward?”

“Three weeks.”

“And you never tried to contact me?”

The unfairness of the question stung. “I did.”

He frowned.

“I mailed a letter to your old office. Then another to the house. I called your assistant. I even went to the building, but security told me I was barred.”

Ethan shook his head. “I never received a letter.”

“Your mother called after the second one. She said you wanted no contact. She told me that using a pregnancy to get money would only embarrass me.”

“Claire, I didn't know.”

“I know that now. But I didn't know it then.”

He stared at the table. I could see him calculating the dates. He was always good at numbers when he wanted to be.

Lucas opened a different folder. “We retained copies of both letters, mailing receipts, and Claire's phone records. The records don't prove what Ethan saw, but they establish attempts to contact him.”

Ethan picked up a photocopy. I watched his eyes move over words I had written when I was frightened, sick, and still foolish enough to hope that the man I loved would answer.

I am pregnant. I don't know how you will feel about this, but you deserve to know.

He read it twice.

Then he pressed his thumb against the edge of the paper as if he could feel the years inside it.

“Why didn't you sue?” he asked.

“Because I was twenty-eight and exhausted. Because you had told me never to come near you again. Because your mother threatened to bury me in lawyers. And because after the twins were born, surviving the week in front of me felt more important than fighting someone who didn't want us.”

Those answers were not neat. They were simply true.

Noah looked up from his chart. “Did you really give Mom thirty dollars?”

Ethan closed his eyes.

“Yes.”

“Why thirty?”

“I don't have an answer that makes it better.”

“Good,” Noah said. “Because there isn't one.”

I almost told my son to be polite. Then I remembered that Ethan was the adult in the room, and Noah was asking what any child might ask.

Ethan turned toward Sophie. “You must have so many questions.”

She nodded. “I wanted to know if you liked music.”

“I do.”

“What kind?”

“Old songs my father used to play.”

She considered that. “I play piano. Sometimes I get nervous before recitals.”

“I used to get nervous before speeches.”

“You didn't look nervous tonight.”

“I was,” he admitted. “I'm even more nervous now.”

Sophie gave him the smallest smile.

Nothing about it erased ten years. Yet something changed in Ethan's face when he received it.

Lucas cleared his throat. “This isn't the place to negotiate parentage or support. Ethan should have independent counsel. The children need stability. Claire is not asking you to make promises tonight.”

“I'm not asking for money,” I said.

Ethan met my eyes. “You should be able to ask for support without apologizing.”

I felt Noah listening. I wanted him to understand that accepting what children are owed was not the same as selling their affection.

The event manager knocked. Guests were asking questions. Videos of Ethan leaving the stage had already appeared online. Lucas asked that the venue prevent identifiable images of the children from circulating where it could.

Ethan looked at me. “I can make a statement saying a private family matter has arisen. I won't identify them.”

“That's a start.”

He left briefly, taking Lucas with him to coordinate. The twins and I remained in the conference room, where Sophie took off her glittery shoes and tucked her feet beneath the chair.

“Mom,” she said, “he looks sad.”

“He has a lot to think about.”

“Are we allowed to feel sad, too?”

I pulled her close. “Every feeling you have is allowed.”

When Ethan returned, he carried an old leather envelope. His hands trembled as he laid it on the table.

“I asked my assistant to retrieve my archived personal correspondence,” he said. “There's something you should see.”

Inside was a note dated ten years earlier, written by Victoria to his former office manager.

It contained a short instruction.

Return any communications from Claire Sullivan directly to me. Ethan is not to be disturbed.

May you like

Ethan looked at me, devastated.

“I think,” he said, “my mother knew more than either of us.”

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