Chapter 4 - The Woman Holding the Child

“Then why did you let him do it?”
The question escaped before Sienna had explained what she meant. I heard myself sounding like Julian, turning uncertainty into judgment because anger felt easier than fear.
“I can't do this on the phone,” she said.
“Then tell me where.”
She asked me to meet her the following morning in a public garden beside the hospital. She would bring the baby. Julian believed she was taking him to a routine appointment. I wanted to object to involving the child, but she sounded frightened enough that I agreed, after informing Nora where I would be.
The garden was almost empty when I arrived. Sienna sat on a bench beneath a small maple tree, a folded blanket across her knees. The little boy slept in a stroller beside her. He had dark eyelashes and one fist pressed against his cheek.
“His name is Theo,” she said.
I had wondered about that name since seeing him in the corridor. Hearing it aloud made him more than the center of a medical mystery. He was a child with a name, a favorite blanket, and a mother who checked his breathing while she spoke.
“How old?” I asked.
“Seven weeks.”
I sat at the opposite end of the bench. Sienna no longer wore my pearl earrings.
She kept her gaze on the stroller. “Julian said you'd signed everything when you separated. He said the clinic needed one final confirmation and that it was a formality.”
“What everything?”
“The embryos. He told me there was one he could still use.”
The statement struck me with a force that had nothing to do with surprise. I had suspected it. Still, hearing Sienna speak of those embryos as something Julian could use made my hands turn cold.
“He told you they were mine?”
“Not at first. He said there had been donor arrangements during your marriage. I thought he meant an anonymous donation through the clinic.”
I remembered Julian assuring me that he had handled the technical details. Sienna had accepted the same assurances I once had, though her reasons for wanting to believe him were different.
“When did you find out?”
Sienna watched a nurse cross the path on the far side of the garden.
“After the transfer. I was twelve weeks pregnant when I saw a document with your name and the old storage numbers. I recognized them because I'd taken you to appointments. I confronted Julian. He said the embryos belonged to both of you and that he'd obtained all the necessary permissions.”
“Did you believe him?”
“Part of me wanted to.”
I felt anger rise again. “And the other part?”
She looked at me then. “The other part knew you would never have signed a release without talking to me. You told me everything back then. Every test. Every failed cycle. Every little bit of hope.”
The admission hurt more than another denial might have. She had known enough to doubt him and had chosen silence.
“Why didn't you call?”
“Because by then he was threatening to leave if I questioned how Theo was conceived. He said I was making myself hysterical. I was pregnant, Clara. I was scared of losing the baby.”
I looked toward the stroller. The child moved his mouth in sleep and then relaxed.
I could understand fear without forgiving what she'd done. She had crossed a line while I was still her closest friend. Her later terror did not erase the betrayal.
“When the doctor entered the corridor,” I said, “you knew he was investigating.”
Sienna nodded. “Dr. Vance met me two weeks ago. Someone from the clinic asked me to come in because there was a question about a historical authorization. He wouldn't tell me anything from your records. He asked me to speak with my own lawyer.”
That explained the recognition. It did not tell me whether Theo was related to me. I held tightly to Nora's warning.
“Do you have anything proving what Julian told you?”
Sienna took a long moment to answer. “There are messages.”
“Will you give them to the independent reviewer?”
“If I do, Julian will say I stole his son.”
“Theo isn't a possession,” I said.
Her eyes filled. “I know. I love him.”
“I can see that.”
I hadn't intended to offer comfort. Yet watching her lean automatically toward the stroller when Theo whimpered made it impossible to speak of him as though he were merely evidence.
Sienna lifted him, supporting his head, and held him close. He settled against her chest. For a moment, we were two women who had once planned baby showers together, standing on opposite sides of a secret neither of us could undo.
She reached into her bag and took out a small velvet box.
“The earrings,” she said. “They were in Julian's desk. He told me they were a gift. I should have asked.”
I did not take the box. “The earrings aren't why I'm here.”
“I know.”
“Then don't try to turn this into something I can forgive by accepting jewelry.”
She placed the box back in her bag. For the first time that morning, she did not defend herself.
We spoke for another twenty minutes. Sienna told me that Theo had been delivered at St. Jude's after an uncomplicated pregnancy. She said a different physician had managed the transfer at a related fertility facility. Julian had arranged the paperwork, the payments, even the transportation to appointments. She had signed her own consent as the person receiving the embryo but had never been given a full copy of the document identifying its origin.
I asked whether she would consent to independent genetic testing if Nora arranged a medically appropriate process.
Sienna looked down at Theo. “If it tells us the truth, yes. But I want my own attorney. And I want to know what happens to him.”
“So do I.”
Neither of us pretended the answer would be simple. She had carried Theo and cared for him every night since his birth. I might have a genetic connection that had been concealed from me. Julian stood between us, having told each of us that the other woman's wishes were irrelevant.
When I stood to leave, Sienna caught my sleeve.
“Clara, there is something else.”
I waited.
“He showed me a photograph of the signed release once. I asked why the signature looked like the one on your divorce papers. He said that's what electronic records always look like.”
My mouth went dry. “You noticed?”
“Yes.”
“And you didn't tell me.”
“No.”
I pulled my sleeve gently from her hand. “Then you need to decide whether you're finally going to tell the truth somewhere it matters.”
That afternoon, Nora arranged for Sienna to receive contact details for an independent attorney. She also made clear that any genetic test should have verified identity, proper consent, and documented handling of samples. No private kit ordered in anger would be enough for what might follow.
Late that evening, Julian called from an unfamiliar number.
“Sienna says you met her,” he said.
I stared at the phone. “Then perhaps she also told you why.”
“You're making her question everything. You always did this. You made every disappointment about yourself.”
I almost apologized. The habit was so old it felt like muscle memory.
Instead, I said, “I have my records now.”
He fell silent.
“Those embryos never belonged to you alone,” I continued. “Whatever you told Sienna, you needed my consent.”
“Clara, listen carefully. There are things you don't understand about becoming a parent.”
I looked at the notebook open on my kitchen table, at the words We still have two chances written in my own hand.
“I understand one thing,” I said. “You knew I was allowed to choose.”
He ended the call.
May you like
An hour later, Sienna sent me a photograph of an old transfer receipt. Most details were obscured, but one identification number was plainly visible.
It matched the number of the embryo marked RELEASED in my file.