SERIES : The Secret Lullaby

Victoria requested to speak with Mara before agreeing to a formal proffer with prosecutors.

Mara almost refused.

Then Leo asked a question at breakfast.

“Why did Mommy say you were bad?”

Mara set down her spoon.

Julian watched from across the table.

“What did she tell you?” Mara asked.

Leo looked at his cereal.

“That you wanted to take us.”

Eli whispered, “She said bad lady song.”

Mara’s stomach tightened.

Julian said, “Victoria told them that before you arrived?”

Leo nodded.

“How could she describe Mara before Mara worked here?”

The child shrugged.

Mara and Julian exchanged a look.

That afternoon, Mara entered the interview room at the district attorney’s office.

Victoria sat behind a metal table in plain clothes, without jewelry, makeup, or the controlled perfection she had worn like armor.

She still managed to look composed.

“You came,” she said.

“You asked.”

“I thought Julian would stop you.”

“He tried.”

Victoria smiled faintly.

“That sounds like him.”

Mara sat.

“Why did you tell the boys about me before I arrived?”

Victoria’s expression changed.

“Straight to it.”

“Yes.”

“I knew you were alive.”

Mara went still.

“How long?”

“About six months.”

“Who told you?”

“Adrian.”

“Why?”

“He had someone watching Malcolm. Malcolm had someone watching you.”

Mara laughed in disbelief.

“So all of you knew except me.”

“Not all of us. Julian didn’t.”

“That is supposed to make me feel better?”

“No.”

“Why did you hire me?”

Victoria looked down at her hands.

“I didn’t.”

Mara frowned.

“The agency sent you. I recognized your photograph after the placement was confirmed.”

“And you let me come into the house?”

“I thought it was safer to watch you.”

“Safer for whom?”

“For me.”

At least the answer was honest.

Mara leaned forward.

“You knew the twins might react to me.”

“No.”

“The song?”

Victoria’s face tightened.

“I did not expect you to remember it.”

“But when you heard it—”

“I panicked.”

“You punished them for mentioning it.”

Victoria looked away.

“You slapped Leo.”

“I lost control.”

“You taught two frightened children that memory was dangerous.”

“I was trying to keep my family.”

“They were never a thing you could keep.”

Victoria looked at her sharply.

“I raised them.”

Mara paused.

That truth was ugly because it was still true.

“You did,” she said.

Victoria’s eyes filled unexpectedly.

“I changed diapers. I sat through fevers. I slept on the nursery floor when Eli had pneumonia. I knew which stuffed animal Leo needed after nightmares.”

“And you frightened them.”

Victoria flinched.

“Yes.”

“You lied to them.”

“Yes.”

“You tried to run with them.”

“Yes.”

“Then do not use the parts of motherhood you performed well to erase the parts that harmed them.”

Victoria’s face crumpled for a second.

Then she recovered.

“You sound like her.”

“Who?”

“Amelia.”

Mara sat back.

“You knew her better than twice?”

Victoria laughed softly.

“Much better.”

Mara felt cold.

“What haven’t you told them?”

“The last lie.”

“What is it?”

Victoria met her eyes.

“I knew you before Julian did.”

Mara stared.

“How?”

“We went to the same university for one year.”

A faint memory stirred.

A practice room.

A blonde student at the doorway.

Applause after a recital.

Mara whispered, “You played piano.”

Victoria’s eyes filled.

“Yes.”

“You stopped.”

“My father said music was a hobby, not a life.”

Mara remembered more.

Victoria sitting alone after a juried performance.

Amelia offering her coffee.

They had not been friends exactly.

But they had known each other.

“You knew the lullaby?” Mara asked.

“No. Not the full melody. I knew you composed.”

“Then why did it terrify you?”

“Because Julian once hummed the first four notes in his sleep.”

Mara’s face softened involuntarily.

Victoria saw it and laughed bitterly.

“That expression. That is why I hated you.”

“You hated me because he loved me?”

“I hated you because you could be ordinary and still be enough.”

Mara said nothing.

Victoria continued.

“I did everything correctly. Schools, family, clothes, charity boards, dinners. I became exactly what people like Malcolm Sterling said a wife should be. And Julian looked at you as if none of it mattered.”

“That did not give you the right to take my children.”

“No.”

“Or my life.”

“No.”

“Then why are you telling me this?”

Victoria looked through the glass wall toward the prosecutors.

“Because I am going to testify.”

“For a deal.”

“Yes.”

“Not from guilt.”

“I have guilt.”

Mara’s laugh was sharp.

“Do you?”

“More than you want me to have.”

“That is not my problem.”

“No.”

Victoria took a breath.

“Adrian ordered Ruth’s death. Malcolm knew Adrian was laundering foundation money but did not know about the murder until afterward. Mercer falsified the medical files. I ordered the sedation and the transfer.”

Mara’s hands tightened.

“Say it clearly.”

Victoria looked at her.

“I took your sons.”

Mara’s eyes filled.

“I took them because I wanted Julian, because Malcolm promised the family would accept me if I gave Julian heirs, and because I convinced myself you had already lost.”

“I was alive.”

“Yes.”

“You heard me ask for them.”

Victoria’s voice broke.

“Yes.”

Mara looked away.

For a long moment, neither woman spoke.

Then Mara asked, “Why didn’t you kill me?”

Victoria went pale.

“I didn’t order your death.”

“You ordered enough medication to silence me.”

“I told Mercer to keep you unconscious. He gave too much.”

“Would you have cared if I died?”

Victoria began to answer, then stopped.

Mara nodded.

“That is what I thought.”

She stood.

Victoria said, “Wait.”

Mara paused.

“There is one more thing.”

“What?”

“Your letter from Julian.”

“The forged one.”

“Yes.”

“Malcolm drafted it.”

“He did. But I added one sentence.”

Mara turned.

Victoria’s eyes lowered.

“What sentence?”

“That he wished he had never met you.”

Mara remembered reading it.

The words had hurt more than every threat.

She felt twenty-seven again, pregnant and alone, sitting on a bench in the rain.

“Why?”

“Because I wanted you to believe it.”

Mara’s voice came quietly.

“I did.”

Victoria began to cry.

“I know.”

Mara opened the door.

“I hope your testimony puts Adrian and Malcolm where they belong.”

“Will you ever forgive me?”

Mara looked back.

“No.”

Victoria flinched.

“But I will not teach the boys to hate you.”

That hurt Victoria more than anger.

Mara continued, “They can know you loved them in the ways you were capable of loving them. They can also know you hurt them. Both things can be true.”

Victoria covered her face.

Mara left.

Julian waited in the corridor.

He stood when he saw her.

“How bad?”

“Bad.”

“Do you want to talk?”

“Not yet.”

“All right.”

They walked toward the elevator.

Mara stopped.

“She added a line to the forged letter.”