Chapter 13 - Under Oath

The deposition took place six weeks after Noah's birth.

By then, he weighed nearly five pounds, breathed without support, and had begun taking most of his milk from a bottle.

My body was healing faster than my life.

Avery had warned me that depositions were not courtroom dramas.

"Mostly," she said, "they're long, boring, and useful."

She was right about the long part.

Ethan sat across the conference table beside his attorney, Marcus Lee. A court reporter recorded every word.

I was not required to attend his entire deposition, but I chose to be there for the financial section.

Marcus looked at me once before it began.

"You can step out at any time."

"I know."

Avery started simply.

"Mr. Whitmore, when did you leave the marital residence?"

"January ninth."

"What did you tell your wife about the expected duration of your trip?"

"One week."

"How long were you gone?"

"Approximately six months."

Hearing the answer in that neutral room made it sound even more impossible.

Avery moved through the timeline with surgical patience.

The apartment.

The medical payment.

The day trips.

Milan.

The kiss.

The false statements about Claire's condition.

Ethan admitted each one.

Then Avery asked, "Did Ms. Bennett ever request that you remain in Switzerland for six months?"

"No."

"Did she ask you to return home?"

"Yes."

"Repeatedly?"

"Yes."

"Did your wife ever tell you that she did not want you home?"

"No."

"Did she ever agree that you should miss the majority of her pregnancy?"

"No."

"Did you tell Ms. Bennett that Rachel's mother was staying with Rachel?"

"Yes."

"Was that true?"

"No."

Avery paused.

"Why did you say it?"

Ethan looked at the table.

"Because Claire kept telling me to go home, and I wanted her to stop."

The court reporter's keys clicked.

I felt something inside me settle.

There it was.

Not confusion.

Not noble sacrifice.

Choice.

Avery moved to the fifty-thousand-dollar transfer.

"Did Rachel authorize this payment?"

"No."

"Did she know about it?"

"No."

"Did you deliberately avoid telling her?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I believed she would object."

"Was that belief based on anything she had said?"

"No."

"Then why did you believe it?"

Ethan took a long breath.

"Because I knew I was already asking too much of her, and I didn't want another reason to face that."

Avery glanced at me, then continued.

"Did you have sexual intercourse with Claire Bennett during the marriage?"

"No."

"Any sexual contact beyond the kiss you disclosed?"

"No."

"Did you pursue any other romantic or sexual relationship while abroad?"

"No."

"Have you produced records sufficient to verify your travel and communications?"

"Yes."

Marcus interjected. "To the best of his ability."

"Noted," Avery said.

Then she asked the question I had not expected.

"Did you intend to return for the birth of your child?"

Ethan's face changed.

His attorney leaned toward him.

"Answer only what you can answer accurately."

Ethan nodded.

"I told myself I would."

Avery waited.

"That's not what I asked."

He looked at me.

"There were days when I wasn't sure."

My throat tightened.

"Why?" Avery asked.

"Because coming home meant admitting what I had done. The longer I stayed away, the worse it became. I was afraid Rachel would leave me."

"So you considered remaining absent during the birth because you feared your wife would leave you for remaining absent?"

Marcus said, "Objection to form."

Ethan spoke anyway.

"Yes."

The absurdity of it was almost unbearable.

Later, during a break, Ethan approached the coffee station where I stood alone.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that like this."

"I already knew."

"Knowing and hearing it under oath aren't the same."

"No. They aren't."

He looked tired but steady.

"I signed the repayment agreement for the joint funds."

"Avery told me."

"The clinic refund arrived too."

"I know."

He nodded.

"Noah might come home next week."

For the first time that day, my chest lifted.

"If he keeps finishing his bottles."

"He will. He has your stubbornness."

"Convenient that none of his difficult traits are yours."

A surprised laugh escaped him.

Then both of us stopped.

It was the first joke we had shared since before Switzerland.

It did not mean we were healing toward each other.

On the drive home, I thought about what co-parenting might actually require. Not friendship on command. Not pretending the marriage had ended kindly. It would require enough honesty to share information about Noah, enough restraint not to turn every pickup into a trial, and enough humility to admit when one of us needed help. Those sounded like small things compared with vows. In practice, they might be harder.

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I also knew I would have to stop using anger as proof that I remembered what happened. I could remember without reopening the wound every day. Ethan could be accountable without being permanently frozen at his worst moment. Neither truth required reconciliation.

Maybe we were healing into something else.